danisplayground: akadoe: what would the consequences be…of simply saying these things…what anxieties hold one back?? seriously, I’m always up for idea exchange…just call me out…is that scary? Joshua Fear of rejection my dear Joshua, that is what holds one back from saying things in person. Rejection is so much easier to deal with when you don’t have to see their face. You don’t have to see the sheer panic in their eyes, their facial expression change as they see you differently.  Anonymity gives you courage to be fearless. FEAR dani (I wasn’t aware I was “dear” to you), fear of rejection, and telling someone, ‘No’ - confrontation, is part of relationship dynamics, no escaping life. Being honest and caring enough to handle sensitive words, face-to-face never easy, but respected. Fear just cripples the spirit, locks us down, immobilize us, and assures what’s in head&heart will remain unspoken, undone.  Are the panicked eyes “theirs” or yours dani?  I believe we don’t owe anyone, anything, but how we feel, honestly and responsibly. If you must tell one it’s over, you cannot reciprocate their caring, look them in the eyes and tell them, as responsibly with caring the truth, “you seem a fine person, and your caring warms be…but I cannot return feelings I don’t have. You must understand that deep inside. Would a lie make you feel better?…”  They might offer some colourful suggestions…but you both know that’s ditch effort to salve a hurt heart.  So dear dani, I apologize for pontificating. But I believe strongly it’s a mistake to hide, to couch feelings. Deliver hard truths softly, take a little extra time. After that, you’ve done the best ANYONE can do for another person. I’m not aware of any way to do life without getting dirty in it, with real feelings &honesty. For me…hiding is the most frightening alternative. Joshua

danisplayground:

akadoe:

what would the consequences be…of simply saying these things…what anxieties hold one back?? seriously, I’m always up for idea exchange…just call me out…is that scary? Joshua

Fear of rejection my dear Joshua, that is what holds one back from saying things in person. Rejection is so much easier to deal with when you don’t have to see their face. You don’t have to see the sheer panic in their eyes, their facial expression change as they see you differently. 

Anonymity gives you courage to be fearless.

FEAR dani (I wasn’t aware I was “dear” to you), fear of rejection, and telling someone, ‘No’ - confrontation, is part of relationship dynamics, no escaping life. Being honest and caring enough to handle sensitive words, face-to-face never easy, but respected. Fear just cripples the spirit, locks us down, immobilize us, and assures what’s in head&heart will remain unspoken, undone. 

Are the panicked eyes “theirs” or yours dani?  I believe we don’t owe anyone, anything, but how we feel, honestly and responsibly. If you must tell one it’s over, you cannot reciprocate their caring, look them in the eyes and tell them, as responsibly with caring the truth, “you seem a fine person, and your caring warms be…but I cannot return feelings I don’t have. You must understand that deep inside. Would a lie make you feel better?…”  They might offer some colourful suggestions…but you both know that’s ditch effort to salve a hurt heart. 

So dear dani, I apologize for pontificating. But I believe strongly it’s a mistake to hide, to couch feelings. Deliver hard truths softly, take a little extra time. After that, you’ve done the best ANYONE can do for another person. I’m not aware of any way to do life without getting dirty in it, with real feelings &honesty. For me…hiding is the most frightening alternative.

Joshua

175 notes
Posted on Saturday, 18 February
Reblogged from: danisplayground
Posted by: stateofchock
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